It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
