Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
