i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
