just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize