So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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