I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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