Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
