i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
