Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
