So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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