Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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