We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize