Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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