I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
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i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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