I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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