I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
