she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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