apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
