Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
