I'm sorry my penis didn't work
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
