my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Randomize