Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
