Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
