When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center