I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.