I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet