I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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