I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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