So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize