I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
