Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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