just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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