I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
They have beer where we have blood.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
