You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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