come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
