Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Randomize
