is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
