Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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