i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
