id be glad to
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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