This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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