every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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