She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.