they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon