You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
my liver is dry heaving
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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