He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
