sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
