Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
