I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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