Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You had me at "let me see your balls"