the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?