Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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