At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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