My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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