I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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