Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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