There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
