Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
