i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
