I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
