giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize