what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
