Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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