Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
