We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
