well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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