That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
