i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
