using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
